I am a person who is in love with love, like many people; maybe you are too. But when is enough, enough in a relationship? I don’t have a clear answer for you but what I do know is that you will know when enough is enough, internally. Our gut never lies to us.
But a better question to ask is: Will you heed your own voice, when you hear it, when you feel it? Or Will you allow your fears to keep you in place?
Having walked away from two long term relationships myself. I’ve experienced the array of emotions and fears that is accompanied by the thoughts of walking away and the actual act of walking away. In my own experience, my first relationship I heard that voice inside several times telling me it was time to walk away, but I did not heed that call from within. I stayed in a three in half year relationship that should have probably ended two years sooner then it did. I kept holding onto the last remnants of what was left in the relationship, despite what my gut was telling me.
It wasn’t enough that I wasn’t happy, that I hadn’t been happy for a long time.
It wasn’t enough that there was deceit.
It wasn’t enough that we no longer respected each other.
It wasn’t enough that we weren’t having sex anymore, because I knew I was no longer in love. It wasn’t enough that almost everyday was a new fight, new tears.
It wasn’t enough that deep down I knew I wanted to walk away, that it was time and still I was trying to hold on…
It took me not having anything left in me to give, that even if I wanted to give- I simply couldn’t. I had given all the love that was within and there was nothing left, nothing left to give.
So why do we do this to ourselves?
You guessed it, Fear.
The fear of not knowing what lied ahead because he was all that I knew, the relationships was all that I knew for so long.
The fear of letting go of something, I had invested so much of myself in.
The absurd fear that perhaps I wouldn’t find someone to love me again.
These were all fears that were holding me back from doing what I knew deep down needed to be done.
My second relationship was even harder although this time I didn’t linger as I did with the first one. This time when I felt that inner voice telling me my relationship had reached its peak and that it was time to let go. I heed the voice, but by no means was this easy to accept nor take action on. In fact, it was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make. It was a decision that took a lot of courage. In this case, contrast to my first relationship. There was still so much love in our relationship. Nothing terrible had taken place; there had been no deceit, no abuse of any kind. We truly loved, admired and respected each other. But deep within me I heard my Higher Self speaking to me and I knew that it was time to let go and this is what made it so difficult.
How could I walk away from love?
Still, I know that my Higher Self always knows more than I do. It can see what I cannot and knows how to bring me exactly what I need. If I simply listen, follow and then get out of my way and so I did just that.
With these brief illustrations of my past experiences, you can quickly notice that I experienced two complete polar opposite relationships. In where I had to know when enough, was enough and then have enough courage to walk away. Yet, sometimes walking away or knowing when enough is enough isn’t always the obvious things we would expect, as with my first relationship. Sometimes you might find yourself in good relationship as I was with my second one. Even so, good sometimes doesn’t mean it’s the one for you, especially if it’s not adding value to you in terms of growth. Good, doesn’t always mean long term.
In my case, I had to recognize it and then accept that all though the love was there, love wasn’t enough. I had to accept that I wasn’t going to be able to realize my full potential in that relationship. And that’s a hard choice to make because the love is still there, yet deep down I knew it was time to move on. But this type of recognition requires awareness. You have to know yourself very well. You need to know what you value. You need to know where you’re trying to go and then see if your current relationship contributes to your overall growth and is it aligned with your values and where you are headed towards?
Again I say to you, that YOU always know when “enough is enough” that is never the question. It’s only do you have the courage to do what you already know needs to be done?
This is what looking within is all about. I love sharing my experiences and insights with you but, sometimes you have to feel things out for yourself, make your own decision, experience things first hand and go from there. Which is why I say to you , that YOU always know when enough is enough and when it is time to walk away from a relationship.
What I will tell you is that you are meant to be happy and you are meant to be your living as the highest version of yourself, that is your divine right. Don’t stay in situations out fear, out the unknown when deep down you know what you really prefer. We didn’t come here to struggle although many of us do, we don’t have to grow in pain we can always choose to grow in joy. But growing in joy requires courage and enough love for ourselves to take action on the things we know within, despite the fears that may arise.