I am excited to share this guest post with you today by my girl Elizabeth over at Ellay Watson. Elizabeth is youtuber with a lifestyle youtube channel, where she shares her passion of fashion, beauty and self growth insights with others. She uses her platform as form of creative expression and as tool to grow and become more of who she is.
In this post Elizabeth who going to talk about her journey of self love and share with you what’s she learned.
Let’s turn it over to Elizabeth!
I remember my childhood days very vividly. I was a feisty, go-getter. Talking to everyone, scared of nothing, making friends left and right, and believing that I can do ANYTHING.
Somewhere along the path, things began to change.
My parents said things, I made a bold move to improvise a dance for the talent show, and classmates laughed, middle school boys told me I was unattractive, sometimes things didnʼt go as planned. Years passed, and that confidence and incredible self-love that I had began to diminish with time.
Although there were plenty of amazing experiences, heaven sent friends, new dreams, and beautiful laughter, those few negative events really began to mold me and I began building walls.
Which made me come off as unapproachable because I was scared of rejection, the barriers that would make me say no to opportunities because things might go wrong, and those walls I built held my creativity captive because “what if someone laughs…”
It might look different for everyone, but so many of us have closed up our hearts. It may seem silly that something someone said when we were eight has stayed with us into our twenties, thirties, maybe even forties.
But this is precisely why Iʼm writing about this topic. Only a few years ago I realized that I wanted to be free.
That holding on to all of those little jabs that happened throughout my life did not define me.
I have the power and freedom to create who I want to be and the life I want to live.
It took a lot of digging to get to the core of what was holding me back. But with a lot of analyzing, reflecting, and learning about self-improvement and spirituality I realized that the missing link was; self-love.
So many of us try to be so kind to others. Sacrificing our time, using our last resource to help someone out, but when it comes to our own selves, we hate, beat ourselves up, we make a mistake, and the constant bullying goes on and on until we decide weʼre not even worth trying.
Please donʼt get me wrong, being loving and giving towards other is amazing and so necessary; however, donʼt forget about yourself.
No matter what you are trying to create, at the end of the day you just want to be loved, accepted, and feel satisfied
. Even though we get caught up in chasing external things or accomplishments to feel better, nothing is as satisfying as igniting that inner light that comes from loving and accepting your own self.
Everyone’s journey looks different, and we rekindle relationships with ourselves in different ways, but today I want to share with you some fantastic and pretty simple tips that have genuinely helped me to fill myself up with self-love and harmony.
This is an ongoing journey and something that I have to work on every day, but itʼs worth it.
it's a process
Remember that just as if you decided to start a fitness journey, self love takes time, practice, and consistency.
It isnʼt an overnight change.
Set an intention to love yourself, forgive yourself, accept yourself, and take daily steps to practice that intention.
Catch yourself when youʼre speaking unkindly to yourself and calmly refocus your attention onto something more positive and/or productive.
For example, “Ugh, this will never work because I suck at everything. Why canʼt I do anything right.”
Donʼt judge yourself.
“Ok, that wasnʼt exactly true. I know that Iʼm really good at art. In fact, so many people love my work. Also it makes me feel so good.” Itʼs as simple as that.
Ask yourself if what youʼre telling yourself is rational and relevant. Just because you got rejected in high school doesnʼt mean that you will always be rejected.
What happened in the past is not your reality, unless you keep playing that story.
Create a new story, a more self loving one, and begin telling it to yourself over and over.
Ask yourself, “What would I tell my child self?” I know that when I ask myself this, it really makes me think. I definitely wouldnʼt be telling that little person all those nasty things Iʼve been telling myself.
I would lift her up, have compassion, and tell her that she can do anything.
FORGIVE THEM. FORGIVE YOURSELF.
To love is to forgive.
Forgive those events that have been holding you back, forgive the bullies, forgive yourself.
Accept who you are in the present moment and remind yourself that all the negative and positive events have only made you stronger and wiser.
Carrying resentment weighs us down so much, it slows our energy, and fogs our vision, making it harder to connect with love.
Let go of all the pain.
Again, easier said than done, but make a decision and remind yourself every day.
Analyze why you have negative perceptions about yourself and connect it to an event that perhaps triggered that belief.
Once you have an idea of what triggered it, forgive and let it go. You are a blank canvas, free to create whatever you want whenever you make the decision to do so. Itʼs hard to create from a new, fresh perspective when youʼre continually carrying baggage around.
Surrender to all that isnʼt in your control let it go, and forgive.
Embrace Your Alien. Embrace your Uniqueness
You are here for a reason. You are a beautiful being who came into this world with dreams and all the tools you need to create your own dream life.
Whatʼs not to love?
Make a list of all of your amazing qualities and remind yourself of them every day.
When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, bringing yourself down, tell yourself that “You are no worse than anybody, you are also no better than anybody.”
You are your own unique creation.
You have all the answers within yourself. If you want to honestly find your success, happiness, fulfillment, then keep searching for answers within, because they are there.
The more you take time to reconnect with yourself, to get to know yourself better, the more you will begin to fall back in love with yourself and when you love yourself, you are unstoppable.
Remember that self-love is already within you. It is your natural state of being. We are all born confident, Iʼve never met an insecure toddler.
We are all born fascinated with life.
The good news is that self-love doesnʼt ever leave you, it is always within you, sometimes itʼs just hiding under all the self-loathing that we got into the habit of doing.
Just begin to stop doing those things that youʼre doing that are keeping you away from it…and slowly but surely love will prevail and come back to the surface.
There was never anybody like you, there will never be another you, nobody can create what you can, nobody can make the difference that YOU CAN.
You are magical.
Decide to be free. Free yourself from resentment, free yourself from judgment, and free yourself from past experiences that are still holding you back.
Decide here, and now that self-love is your natural state and practice it every day. Be mindful of your thoughts and refocus yourself whenever a negative “drunk monkey” thought creeps up, keep a written list of all your amazing, unique skills and aspects and look at it every day.
Everything that youʼve been searching for is already there, embrace it and let yourself shine.
It might take weeks, maybe months, maybe even years…but with every day itʼll be more natural, the path will seem more apparent, and believe me itʼs worth it.
I hope that these tips & reminders spark a positive change within you that they helped spark within me.
You can also check out my video where I discuss some of these tips in more depth, as well as some other great tips to help get you on the Self Love Journey.