What is self-belief?
Self-belief is having confidence in your abilities, qualities, and judgments. It is also referred to as self-efficacy. Which affects almost every area of our lives, including how we think, feel and act; this is why it is so important.
There was a time when I had started my own business, I did everything to get it off the ground but when the time came to execute the business – I quit because I began to doubt myself and my abilities. There have been moments where I didn’t assert myself in the workplace or shared my ideas because I didn’t believe I could or was afraid of the outcome. But then there have been many moments in my life where I’ve believed in myself so much, and that belief got me very far.
At the age of 15, I was the first person out of state accepted to a free business camp from the Bill Gates foundation that was only for NYC residents. But I believed that I deserved to be a part of the camp and I wrote them such a compelling letter that they accepted me. My self-belief gave me the strength and courage to pursue a job that technically I wasn’t qualified for I didn’t have previous experience in it. It was also in a city I did not know, and this was all after having my home go into foreclosure and having my relationship of almost four years come to an end. But what I did have was self-belief that gave me the certainty that I could do it and that, that job was mine. Combine that with action, and I made the ‘impossible, possible. Something I could have never accomplished if I didn’t believe in myself.
So yes! I’ve definitely struggled with believing in myself many times, and I can tell you it’s no joke especially when you know what it feels like to believe in yourself and how much better life works for you when you do. And because of it, I know how necessary self-belief is in creating the life you desire. It’s more important than intelligence, talent, or just about anything else. Even though I’m not free of self-doubt these days, I can honestly say I believe in myself again like never before…
When you lack belief in yourself, it limits you.
No matter how great your ideas are or the opportunities that may show up for you, you will not be able to act on them. Just stop and think for a moment, how many things have you not done or tried because you lacked belief in yourself? How often do you allow self-doubt to creep-in?
Can I really do this?
Someone is already doing what I want to do, how can I ever compete with them?
What will other people think if I do/say this?
I can’t risk failure.
I need to be realistic, and on and on you go…
See the thing is, you’re not alone in your self-doubts. Everyone deals with vulnerability, uncertainty, and fear of failure or even success. But the difference between those who are successful in the realization of their dreams is that they don’t give into the thoughts of self-doubt. They have them, but they don’t stay with those thoughts; instead, they believe that they will figure it out along the way, that the path will reveal itself.
You cannot talk yourself out of self-doubt but you can talk yourself into belief by focusing more on what you want.
Basically, they are trusting more in what they want to achieve “their vision” than they are believing in their doubts. Because see we are never, not trusting in something, it’s merely a matter of what are we trusting in? And well, if you lack belief in yourself, then you are trusting more in your doubts.You cannot talk yourself out of self-doubt but you can talk yourself into belief Click To Tweet
So how do you start believing in yourself?
Self Belief |How to Believe In Yourself
Set goals for yourself but start small and focus on the process itself
Too often we set ourselves up for failure because we set really high goals and expectations for ourselves from the get-go. We focus more on the future, the big picture of what we want and we fail to realize that to arrive at our “destination”, at our desired outcome; it starts with the journey of getting there. The process begins with the first step. So as you focus more on the process itself while taking small steps towards your goals, you’ll slowly start to believe in your ability to take action, which will eventually create momentum for you.
For example, I want to get in shape and exercise 4 times a week, but currently, my level of fitness is non-existence. So I’ve started by doing a yoga stretch class once a week. It’s not much but it’s a start, and it’s better than taking no action at all. So I focus on accomplishing the small task of going to yoga every Sunday.
Once I can maintain consistency in that action, then I can incorporate something else. And this way I’m setting myself up for success, by starting small and accomplishing the little task I’ve set for myself. Hence this helps me to realize that I am capable and it starts to add to my self-confidence.
Acknowledge your accomplishments
Do you see or acknowledge your achievements, or do you obsess about all your failures? A lot of us including myself we are unduly hard on ourselves. We tend to focus more on our mistakes and failures than our successes. We focus more on where we want to be and where we are not, then acknowledging and appreciating where we are and what we’ve accomplished thus far. To help you get out of the bad habit of focusing negatively on your lack of, make a list of all the things you have achieved in your life, both big and small. You can do this every week by adding new accomplishments to your list and read it often. We are more capable than we think…
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF
Comparing yourself to someone else finish product is the fastest way to block yourself from going after what you want. When I first started doing videos in the past, I began to compare myself to other people and their finish product. And the more I compared myself to others, the more my self-confidence and belief in my abilities diminished, and the louder and stronger my self-doubt got until eventually, I stopped taking action towards my vision.
Comparing yourself to others is wasted energy because no matter how good you are at something, you will always find somebody who is better than you. Instead learn from other people who are doing what you want to do, study them, be inspired by them but do not compare yourself to them. That is a better use of your energy in creating what you desire and maintaining your self-belief.
Examine your negative beliefs and replace them with positive ones
It’s essential that you seek out and question your limiting beliefs by looking for evidence that disproves your beliefs. Then substitute them with empowering ones that are based on truth. If you are having trouble taking action, for example, you may have a belief that says I don’t have enough resources or it’s too late to change or start, etc…
All these limiting beliefs we have are just tactics and excuses we use to permit ourselves to remain stuck.
INVEST IN YOURSELF BY DEVELOPING YOURSELF
The best way to believe in yourself is to invest in your self-development. For example, there are times I lack confidence in my ability to write, speak and adequately express myself but I’ve learned that to gain confidence in those areas I need to practice by spending more time preparing, researching a topic, writing more, speaking aloud my thoughts.
I use to think the I could always just wing it, but if I want to become a better communicator and educator than I need to put in the work through practice and preparation.
If you want to start a business or learn how to have a healthy relationship, you need to put in the work as well, and sometimes you have to go as far as hiring a coach or mentor for what you are trying to improve. Not too long ago I hired a blogging coach to help me fine tune my vision and create a structure for me on what I should be focusing on based on my goals. And let me tell you, it’s been the best decision I’ve made and it’s helped me gain tremendous confidence in my abilities once again which has increased my self-belief.
Focus on the solutions, not the problem
The more you focus on the problem rather than finding solutions, the more hits your confidence will take + it’s counterproductive to do that. Focusing on the solution gives you power and puts you in control.
Challenge yourself by trying new things
I have always gained the most confidence and self-belief when I challenge myself to do something difficult, something I fear or just something that is new. For example leaving my job, selling my material possessions and deciding to travel the world for a year alone without a plan was challenging but it gave me a lot of self-confidence and belief in myself. It reaffirmed my inner strength and acute sense of intuition.
Ensure your living in Alignment
That means that you are not only clear on what your personal values are but that you are living in alignment with those values and that they are reflected in your what say and do. When our actions are in line with our core beliefs, we feel happy, empowered, and at peace. When we fail to do that, we complain more, blame others, feel scared, doubtful, and overall, unhappy and unsatisfied with life.
These are just a few ways to help you increase your self-belief but in the end, it is all about YOU pushing beyond your comfort zone, trusting yourself, setting small goals and continuously learning while trying new things and most of all bringing awareness to your inner self-talk.
Are you ready to dive deeper? Below you’ll find a playsheet that will guide you in becoming more aware of your negative self-talk while turning it around.