I love this subject, Relationships, Why, because I’ve spent most of my life chasing them. Obsessed with finding love, the “one” and through my crazy obsession of looking for love, I made a lot of mistakes but I learned a lot along the way, and that means I have a ton of wisdom in this department! So for my crazy gals and guys out there who want to find a relationship, love and or the ” one” ( a life partner) then this post is for YOU!
Today, I won’t get into the debate of the “one” and if there is only one person for everyone.
So when I refer to the “one,” I just mean that person who is compatible with you mentally, spiritually and physically. Who doesn’t complete you like many of us have become accustomed to saying but rather someone who accepts you completely. Because after all, that is what you are looking for, even if you don’t yet know it.
I want to help you in your love life
because I am in love with love, a hopeless romantic filled with wisdom and experience to guide you through the process of manifesting love and a relationship.
So if you want to save time and get out of your toxic cycles of attracting the wrong people and relationships into your reality, then lets dive right into the steps to manifest a relationship.
How to Manifest a Relationship
INTENTION IS EVERYTHING - KNOW YOUR INTENTION
Do you ever find yourself saying that once you find a good woman or man and fall in love, that then you’ll have a reason to go to the gym and take care of yourself, feel better, complete or ready to start that business you’ve always wanted to?
If you have, then you are assuming that once you get the ultimate man or woman, then your life will finally be perfect, but in reality, it won’t.
If right now, you are not happy with yourself or your life and assume that finding the “one” or your next great love will be the thing to bring you happiness and give you the perfect life; think again. Because it won’t, ( TRUST ME I KNOW, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT) it will, however, bring you pleasure which is often confused with happiness. Pleasure is temporary- short-lived, but after the newness of a relationship and initial infatuation wears off, you will still be left with that feeling deep down of uneasiness and unhappiness.
The more you get your shit together, the sooner you’ll be able to attract the kind of relationship you really want and deserve.
Sit with yourself and really look at the intention behind your desire to manifest a relationship? Is it to fill a void, to make you happy, to give you security? Or is it because your life is already pretty great and you would like to amplify your happiness by sharing it with another?
The answer to this question will show you why you’ve been attracting the kind of people and experiences into your reality thus far if you look hard enough will find a pattern…
CLARITY IS POWER - GET CLEAR
Before you can manifest a relationship, you need to know what it is that you want. You would be amazed how many of us genuinely don’t know what we want. Some of us say I’ll know it when I see it or feel it.
Others have some vague ideas, they may know the physical qualities they prefer in a person. But if you are only aware that you like tall men or brunettes, you’ll end up wasting a lot of time with the wrong people because the foundation of a stable relationship is based on much more.
If you are truly serious about finding a relationship or life partner, then you need to get clear on what you want, and the best way to do this is to write it down. I did this for years continually updating and re-clarifying what I wanted over the years based on the experiences that were coming in and out my reality.
Grab a notebook and write down everything starting with the qualities you want that person to have, how you want to be in that relationship, how the relationship feels and how you feel in the relationship. Write down as much detail as possible. Below I share with you one of my clarification entries.
Writing everything down gives you CLARITY. It helps you define what you say you want and gives you an opportunity to use what you’ve written down to compare it to what you’ve been attracting and what you will attract. Think of it has your road map to where you’ve been and where you’re going.
BECOME THE PERSON YOU WANT TO ATTRACT
Too often we ask for a lot of things in another person, but we, ourselves are not any of the things we want to ask of another. If you want a partner, who leads an active, healthy lifestyle. Who is financially and emotionally stable, who is passionate and optimistic about life.
Yet you don’t live a healthy lifestyle, your emotionally unstable and tend to be a little on the pessimistic side, well then you are going to have a difficult time attracting that kind of person into your experience. Because that type of individual is vibrating at a different frequency than you and that will make it harder for you to match up.
So make sure that you are what you want to attract or at least actively working towards becoming that kind of person you are desiring.
Look to see what you wrote down in your clarification process of what you want in a person and relationship. Now compare what you wrote down to who you are now. How many of the things you desire in another do you currently possess?
If you want someone to respect you, look to yourself do you respect yourself, is there any area in your life where you are not respecting yourself or others? If you want someone who leads a healthy lifestyle are you leading a healthy lifestyle? etc….
ALIGN YOUR ACTIONS WITH WHAT YOU SAY YOU WANT
I cannot tell you what an aha moment this was for me when I realized that I had been missing the most significant step in manifesting a relationship.
No wonder that even though I kept asking for the improvement of something ( what I wanted) the Universe would respond by bringing me a vibrational mix: a little of what I wanted with a whole lot of what I did not want.
So why the catch 22, you might wonder?
If I am clear on what I want, I have most of the qualities I’m asking of in another, why is it that am I still attracting what I do not prefer, I would ask myself?
Here is the AHA MOMENT
Too often we say we want something, but our actions reflect something completely different.
Usually, we are unaware of it because we have been conditioned in specific patterns that have become our default mode and so we keep taking action in the opposite direction of where we want to be, and then we wonder why we can’t find what we say we want.
See the Universe speaks only in terms of energy |vibrations ( what you put out, is what you get back) and most of us usually send out mix vibrational signals to the Universe all day long. Consciously we are aware of what we want, but unconsciously we keep repeating old patterns of behavior.
As you start becoming more clear on what you want, the Universe will begin the process that I like to call ” The Contrast and Preference Process:“
This is when the Universe brings you a mixture of vibrations (people and experiences) for you to learn more of what you want, to see if what you say you want is true and to learn more about what you don’t want.
The Universe will tempt you, with your subconscious desires or old patterns of behavior.
How YOU respond to the Universe, is through the choices you make and the actions you take or don’t take.
For example you meet a guy, and he has some qualities you really like in him, but there’s a whole lot about him that you don’t prefer.
Let’s say he’s humanitarian ( loves giving back to the community ) and that is a big part of your life, so you’re enjoying that. You are also physically attracted to him (yay), you’ve got sexual chemistry and good conversation.
But wait, there’s another side to him. He tends to be pretty cynical, has a temper and you’ve caught him in a few lies.
So here is where the Universe will test you.
The Universe brought you this person who has a little of what you want and a lot of what you don’t want. Now the Universe waits to see what decisions you make because your actions and vibrations go hand in hand.
If you realize that you like those four qualities in him but everything else is a deal breaker, and you’ve recognized that you don’t prefer all of him. Then your actions need to back it up.
Which means you take action that’s reflected to what you are trying to manifest.
I.e. In this case you wouldn’t pursue anything further with this person, because they already served their purpose and you recognized that it’s not what you want.
(If you can back up what you say with your actions this tells the Universe that you are serious about what you say you want and that you believe you can have what you want.)
Now maybe you are thinking what purpose did he serve?
Well, he reaffirmed for you what you want, maybe you even discovered a quality in him that you liked and didn’t know you liked but most of all you learned more of what you don’t want, because of him.
So now that you know, those things thank him and be on your way, bye!
Yet what most people do, is even when they realize and see that this person isn’t entirely what they want they still stick around.
Perhaps to fill time until something better comes along, maybe for sexual pleasure or because they think they can change the person.
But then we wonder why we can’t attract more of what we want.
It crucial that you look at your actions, are saying one thing but doing another?
Do you want to find someone who respect you?
The Universe will put in situation that will give you an opportunity to respect yourself by perhaps having you meet someone you like but who doesn’t respect your time ( they only call you at midnight to come over) or they reach out to you on their terms.
Now how you respond to this person’s actions tells the Universe what you really want.
Know that you have to make the hard choices to get what you want. Sometimes that means walking away from people you like, or being okay with being alone for a while. Or perhaps putting yourself out there more…
Think about where you are in your own process?
- Are you lacking clarity, have you sat down with yourself to build the foundation of what it is you truly want to create and experience?
- Do you need to work on becoming more of what you want to attract?
- Perhaps you are clear on what you want and have become more of it, but you keep attracting a mixture of vibration and you can’t understand why or see the pattern? Book a one on one strategy session with me, Let’s tackle your biggest hurdle in attracting and getting what you want.
Share with me what’s that one thing is you’re going to commit to down below!
I am here to guide and encourage you through the process.