Hey what’s up Love, so today we have a special guest on CreatingWithin her name is Mallory Bales, she is a miracle-minded life coach, spiritual teacher, and speaker. Today she’s here sharing with you her inner journey that lead to her awakening through Radical Surrendering.
August 2014: I am standing on top of a castle over looking the dusty desert that is filled with unicorn flashing light art cars and people wearing disco suits. There are tears dripping down my face as I step away from the group that I am with to gaze out into this dreamy fairy tale land. I realize that this magical fairy tale land is actually true reality and my entire life I had been living under a dark spell. I realize that I have been told a bunch of lies about what the ‘dream life’ is.
I have tears dripping down my face because for the first time in my life I am hanging out with truly powerful people that genuinely care about humanity and the planet. All they talk about is uplifting consciousness. I step away because I feel like I have nothing to contribute to the conversation, I feel small as can be.
These people do not care about my rocking body, my brand new Audi, how many ecstasy pills I just popped, or what celebrity I hung out with last month. For the first time in my life I realize that none of this matters, that my entire life has been deprived of soul and incredibly shallow.
It was in this tender moment I heard a voice whisper you have to change everything when you leave and I broke down like a toddler and weeped. My entire life consisted of getting drunk, working at the Las Vegas strip club, doing drugs, designer items, and living up to the beauty standard. I had no idea how in the world I would be strong enough to change everything.
I didn’t believe that there was anything inside me that was valuable or worthy. I questioned who in the world would I be without all of these fake and material things that I clung onto as ‘me’.
This story took place during burning man of 2014. After I had this revelation at the castle, I continued to break down to a friend that evening and affirmed to him that I was going to go home and change everything, in my life. His gaze penetrated so fiercely through my eyes and deep into my soul as he told me that I was a genius and I was going to live a beautiful life beyond my wildest dreams. I believed him and believed in myself for the first time. My spirit was activated. I could taste, smell, and feel my exploding potential. I became a woman on a mission to know my power and who I was in truth- I was willing and ready to radically surrender my life over to a power far greater than myself.
From this moment on my life has become a devoted love affair with my higher power- which I call God, Goddess, Spirit, Source, Divine, Beloved, Creator, or Universe. The first few things my higher power told me that I had to do in order to transform my life was to get sober, sell my designer items, and take out my hair/nail/eyelash extensions. I heard that I needed to remove the blocks that stood in the way of its presence.
The first year of my journey was the most challenging year of my life because I had to face all of my darkest wounds.
was naked and afraid without all of the masks that I wore. I had NO idea who my naked self was. I had no idea what I enjoyed and what my personality was like without drugs and alcohol.
I didn’t know what music to listen to, what clothes to wear, or what topics to have conversations about. My being felt empty and I knew I had to retrain my self how to live again as if it was the first time. I knew that nothing in the world was more important to me than getting down on my knees every day and praying that this power take over me and show me who it would have me be. My daily prayer became ‘where would you have me go, what would you have me do, what would you have me say and to whom’. I was an infant, born again at 24. After burning man I entered the world with blind folds on and on a mission to discover what was really inside of me.
Radical surrender has allowed me to discover a woman that I would have never believed was within. I found my true beauty. Up until age 24 I believed that being stupid was cool and being soulful was embarrassing. I thought the more ‘perfect’ I looked the more powerful and valuable I was in society. I believed that if I could work my way into Playboy or Maxim with enough plastic surgery, then I would be able to meet my powerful prince charming that would save me and help me live the ‘American dream’. I was convinced that my worth lied in how sexually desirable I was to a man.
Shortly after I began to surrender I remembered that I was not my body, but the spirit within my being. I remembered that my authentic power was the power in me, but not of me. This power gave me all the strength that I needed to continue to take one next best action after the next. It gave me the strength to rise above all the limiting beliefs and stories inside my head. It gave me the strength to embrace my imperfections and vulnerabilities. It helped, and continuously helps, me remember the real me.
The real me was and will always be a mystery. I have no idea who I am or what I am capable of, but I know that with radical surrender I will continue to explore more of the treasure chest that awaits within. Radical surrender is not knowing. Living in the space of not knowing is unlimited potential. As soon as I think I know anything I am limiting my higher power’s magnificence and magic. Life is far better than I could have ever imagined, it is way beyond what I could have ever envisioned. I believe that the three words ‘I don’t know’ are the wisest words that one can say when it comes to who we are and what we are capable of. One of my favorite mantras is ‘ I don’t know, you decide for me, you show me’.
My friend was not lying when he said a genius was within me and saw deep into my soul. He was a conduit for the Divine to flow through in that moment. I believe that being a water faucet for the Divine water to flow through allows us to rise to our highest potential. When we’re being used we remember who we are- we are embodied in our Divinity. This is why it is necessary to clear the blocks that stand in the way of love’s presence. If we do not surrender to the blocks then we will never be able to be fully used. This is what it means to be our purpose rather than find our purpose. There is no greater joy or high in life than knowing that Source was able to move through you to help crack open someone’s heart.
My message for you and the world is to remember that it does not matter how helpless, weak, or lost you feel in this moment. If you have the willingness to invite a power greater than yourself in to take over your life then you will be able to live a life beyond your wildest dreams.
You have no idea what you are capable of. You have no idea what the universe desires to dream through you.
You are way more powerful than you could ever imagined and there is a radiant beauty within you that is incredibly attractive. Surrender is the key to embody how extraordinary you are and how the Divine designed for you to be.
My Lingering Question For You Gorgeous Is:
My lingering question for you gorgeous is : what is your greatest block that is standing in the way of love’s presence that is holding you back from living a life beyond your wildest dreams?
How willing are you to go to any lengths to remove this block so that you may live the dream life that is awaiting for you?