I have recalled the importance and rekindled my relationship with the beauty of solitude. I think it’s only fair I share this reminder with you about the benefits of spending time alone.
But, before I jump right into telling you why you should spend more time alone, let me share an enlightening experience I recently came out of to give you some perspective. I believe storytelling is a powerful tool; it connects us to each other and with ourselves. It’s the core of our existence.
I recently felt disconnected from myself. For me, connection means feeling in alignment with my highest self; it’s feeling capable, reliable, loving and compassionate. It’s a sense of knowingness and wisdom that is unique to me.
But this feeling of disconnection was a new experience for me, as I have always known myself to be very in tune and connected within since I was a young child. And even though, I have weaved in and out alignment through life (because it’s part of the process) this experience was completely different.
Usually, my state of being is peaceful and still within, but when I was disconnected within, it felt chaotic. Static erupted. My awareness had contracted, my sensing abilities completely shut down. It appeared as if I lost or forgot all the knowledge and wisdom I knew. I became more reactive and less intentional. I felt lost and disconnected, not only from myself but others. I found myself being more judgmental of others. I complained far more than I was grateful. My mood was sporadic. My attitude of gratitude was non-existent. I was everything that is not my usual state of being as I’ve known myself to be throughout the years.
I won’t lie, while I was going through this whirlwind, it sucked. I felt like I was going through the motions, day by day. But now, being out of the experience, I understand why I went through it. And now I have the gift of experientially knowing what disconnection feels like and separating from yourself and how that impacts the quality of your life. I can now relate and understand others who haven’t discovered their connection within and how they experience their reality as opposed to when you are in tune and connected…
Okay, so during this period of feeling disconnected from my higher self, I did the one thing that has always guided me, and that is my unwavering faith in God (the universe). I prayed and reached out to my guides and angels asking them to please guide me and help me plug back into myself.
My husband left on a two-day business trip, and for the first time in a long time, I found myself alone.
And then it happened, bam!
I, for the first time, in a long time, could sense my energy.
Wow, I couldn’t believe it, it felt ethereal, I had forgotten what my energy felt like and embraced the experience wholeheartedly. I forgot how beautiful, how peaceful and energizing it feels to sit in silence and absorb my essence.
It was during those solitary moments that the clarity and wisdom I had been seeking manifested. I realized why I had been so disconnected from my essence and blocking my flow. I haven’t been alone; I haven’t been still; I haven’t been in silence. I didn’t face myself.
And then it happened, bam!
I, for the first time, in a long time, could sense my own energy.
Wow, I couldn’t believe it, it felt so good, I had forgotten what my own energy felt like.
It was during those solitary moments that the clarity and wisdom I had been seeking came through and I realized why I had been so disconnected from my own essence, blocking my flow.
Now, I’m not saying it’s my husband fault, haha… He is amazing!
But what I realized is that I need to carve out alone time for myself, and get back into my spiritual practice of having rituals and harnessing my energy. It may not be in the exact way I use to do it when I lived alone, but I need to create a new way of being and feeding my soul while still giving time and energy to family life.
Balance is of the utmost importance!
I need you to understand that I’ve spent most of my time alone throughout my journey. In deep introspection, making my spiritual growth a priority, cultivating my energy. I spent four days at a women’s silent retreat at the age of 15; I was the youngest person there; to give you an idea of my inner search, commitment and desire to connect within.
When I lived alone, I led my home life in a very particular and deliberate way. Spending a lot of time in the inner world, harnessing my energy. For three years, I didn’t even have a television in my home, and I always had a room or section of my house dedicated to my spiritual practices.
I spent most of my time just being and feeling, doing whatever arose at the moment and going with it. Connecting with different people, experimenting with putting into practice the things I was learning intuitively and applying it to my everyday life, etc.… When I decided to leave everything behind to travel (backpack) through Europe & Asia for a little over a year, my entire life changed. A divine internal shift happened from the exploration, freedom & connection I established gracing foreign soil.
When six (6) months elapsed after returning from my travels:
- I met my husband.
- Four months later we were engaged,
- Moved to a new city
- Ventured into a new line of work (Real Estate)
- Had a miscarriage a month before my wedding
- Got married ((became a wife)
- A month later I got pregnant.
- Then six months into my pregnancy we moved to a new home, traveled to NYC, had a baby, and now I’m not only a wife, but a mother, all of these miracles happened within a two-year time span.
Drastic changes occurred in
I always knew deep down that when I met the “one” for me, it would be rock and roll, that things would unfold very fast. I even knew that once I traveled, the energy to create and start a family would appear. But what I didn’t realize is that so much change (expansion) in a short amount of time didn’t allow me to catch up with my spiritual development.
I didn’t slow down long enough to adjust to all my new roles and experiences.
I was going, going, doing and doing. The motions of life kept me moving in a state of ignorant bliss.
This whole time I’ve been doing a lot, but the voice within and the magic of life happens not when you are doing, but when you are being. It is when you are being and not doing that you can appreciate everything in your life and get the most from it.
When we go, go and go without taking the time to be, that is, when you lose awareness, you shut down (contract) your consciousness, and you become a reactive person. These effects in your life are in essence how you become unconscious.
Why do you think our society loves to keep people in survival mode or busy; always doing or chasing things?
You should be building and attracting things instead.
When you are in any of those spaces you have no “time” to contemplate, to be aware, to tune into yourself and expand your consciousness. Instead, people are more susceptible to or be manipulated and controlled when they are unconscious and unaware.
Okay, so I just went on side tangent there, but it was worth it.
Let’s jump right into it!
Why should you spend time alone, what are the benefits of Solitude?
The Benefits of Solitude
SOLITUDE PLUGS YOU INTO YOU.
If you want to increase your awareness and connection with yourself, you first need to be able to sense your energy, and the way you do that is through spending time alone. Lock into who you are and what you want to become because you have the most precise sense of your energy when you’re not around other people.
Some of us, we are never alone. We are in pursuit to surround ourselves with others, and when we are finally alone, we find a million things to keep ourselves busy. People condition our minds and teach us that being productive and doing things is more valuable than then being still, in quiet time.
Perhaps, YOU aren’t always around people, and you might be thinking oh Stephanie, this doesn’t apply to me. I spend a lot of time alone; I’m always by myself.
Look inward and ask yourself this question: Am I honestly always alone?
See spending time alone doesn’t only mean not having people around, it also means being present in the moment, so you can sense your energy and learn what that feeling is and fall in love with it.
Most people spend time watching television, on their phone, surfing the net, and overeating when they are alone. These distractions are not examples of spending time alone; this is distracting yourself and passing the time to avoid the feeling of loneliness and its horrid associations.
Spending time alone means quality time with you, no gadgets or distractions. It’s just, nothing to do but be.
See the that you can sense your energy, the more that you will be able to hear your inner guidance, access your higher wisdom and differentiate your power from other people’s energy (this is huge!) We don’t realize how much different people’s energies influence and affect us. Especially when we aren’t in tune with our own, we take on other people’s emotions and thoughts as our own.
Being alone is part of the process of spiritual awakening.
The ego does not like being alone, or in solitude. It desires distraction, noise, and dogmatic patterns. Being alone usually triggers all kinds of emotions that the ego doesn’t want to feel or face. The ego needs company while spirit desires to connect in solitude.
Solitude allows you to find stillness of the mind.
To know who you are you need to find stillness in your mind, and you can create that stillness through relaxation and visualization rituals that you can do when you spend time alone.
Solitude helps you know who you are.
It provides you clarity and reveals who you are, and who you are not because in those moments of quietness & stillness there are no roles to play, nothing to do, and no one to please, it is in those moments that you make space for the real YOU to show up. .
Solitude helps you know who you are.
Now it’s time to feed your soul. Whenever you find time to reflect and be with yourself you create space to heal, rest, gain clarity, energize and sense your sublime energy. And as you learn to detect your strength, you open the door to your intuition and ultimately to your Higher Self.
We all have within us all the tools we need to become what we desire most and create the experiences we envision.
But the first step to expanding your consciousness, living in flow, and accessing the infinite wisdom that is available for you is to become in tune with yourself, and the first step in tuning into YOU is learning to sense your energy through blissful solitude.
Does your life change drastically in short time span?
Do you neglect solitude and get caught up in “doing” instead of being?
When do you devote time to a “solitude ritual” for your spiritual wellbeing?
What are your favorite ways to experience solitude?
I love engaging in thoughtful and transcendent conversations with my beautiful community. Share your experiences and tell us how solitude has shifted your vibrations!