This topic has been coming up so much in every way and in every form; the topic of what is spirituality?
A coaching client of mine recently asked me how can she best explain what spirituality is, especially to those who are more religious.
The reason she asked me this, is because recently at work she shared with someone how she just started working with a spiritual coach (me) and how excited she is etc…
But the response she got back from this person, was something to the effect of “you shouldn’t really talk about that too much because people might get the wrong idea.” ( See where she lives, the majority of people are religious) so she was taken aback by that response, made her feel like she can’t talk about spiritual things, which is fucked up.
So let’s break down spirituality, in a very basic way that goes beyond all the “new age” and what so many now refer to as “woo woo” talk.
As I recognize that people, especially more religious one tend to shy away or get scared by the word ‘spiritual’ because of the new age ‘woo woo’ association.
So can we forget about moon rituals, crystals, tarot cards, aliens, past lives for a minute and let’s really get to the core of what the fuck spirituality is?
Spirituality at the core is about emotional wellness and self-mastery; mastering your internal world.
If you really think about it most of all the problems of this physical reality, start and end with us. All your “problems” in your life start and end with YOU.
Because at the core we are all competing for love, to be seen,to be heard and to know that we matter.
And because we have been conditioned since childhood to abandoned ourselves and to value other peoples emotions and needs over ours. We’ve end up believing that you have to have control over other peoples love.
And this is where so many of the worlds problem and your personal problems begin. Because in an attempt to have “control” over other peoples love and there are many ways we do this by getting angry, guilting or shaming someone, turning to various addictions,giving ourselves up to someone, judgement, external power etc… These are all forms in which we try to get that control and they are also all forms of self abandonment.
So spirituality is about unlearning, it’s about connecting you back into yourself, it’s about giving yourself the things you are so desperately trying to get from the outside world.
Spirituality is as simple as :
Can you keep your heart open when it wants to close?
Can you take responsibility for the ways in which you may be causing your own pain?
Can you empathize with others, can you forgive someone who has hurt and wronged you?
Can you give others freedom to do whatever they feel drawn to do, without imposing your will on them?
Can you move away from judging and criticizing other people and instead ask yourself what you can do to make their lives better?
Too often the simplicity of it can get lost behind all of these preconceived ideas about spirituality and spiritual growth.
Such as wearing certain attire, using certain words, doing yoga, being vegan, doing rituals, having memories of past lives, being able to meditate for hours, exhibiting superhuman abilities or living in a state of continual bliss.
It’s much simpler and deeper than all of that.
You are being spiritual in each moment you can bring more love and light into the things you do, deal with yourself in compassion, hold yourself, and have less judgment. Spirituality is being human, it’s about operating from your heart space.
Because before you can transcend this reality, you must master it and to master this reality you must master yourself and to master yourself, you must do the inner work.
So in the end, You can be spiritual and religious. You can be spiritual and not religious. You can be religious and not spiritual. One thing has nothing to do with the other.