Do you struggle with anxiety, letting go, always needing to try and make things happen?
A little over two years ago, I had to learn the value of acceptance and surrendering and by no means was it an easy process when I was going through it. But I will say it is one of the most enriching experiences, it taught me a lot and once I gave into the process, it actually became fun.
My process of acceptance and surrendering began when I returned to the states after spending a little over a year traveling solo around the globe. It was a huge adjustment for me, Just imagine being in a different country and city every couple weeks. On the constant move, always experiencing something new, meeting different people, living moment to moment without any responsibility. To all of a sudden, I found myself back in Miami living at mother’s house (which btw I had been on my own for the last seven years) starting all over again. At least that’s what it felt like, in the moment. (But the truth is I wasn’t really starting over. I was however, building from the ground up, only now it was on a – new level – even if though in the moment it doesn’t quite appear that way. )
Man, I had so many mixed emotions after returning home from my travels-I felt like a total failure. I had no idea what I was going to do with myself or rather what I wanted to do. But eventually after a month of moping around and feeling sorry for myself, I started to surrender to my emotions with the help of a friend and my spirit guides, who taught me that if anything was to change – I first needed to accept where I was and what I was feeling. Then I would have to surrender to it.
Eventually, I stopped fighting against being where I didn’t want to be. And I started to notice that my resistance was actually part of my lesson to acceptance. As I accepted where I was and what I feared, I then surrendered to my fears by trusting that where I currently found myself was exactly where I needed to be; even though I didn’t understand “how” I would get to where I wanted to be, from where I was. I had to let go and trust that it would all work out. And let me tell you the moment I accepted what I could not change and I surrendered to it, everything in my life started to change quickly. I picked up momentum and before I knew it I found myself exactly where I wanted to be. And I didn’t have to make anything happen, the path revealed itself to me in time.
How Surrendering Allowed Me To Kick Fear in the Butt!
I remember my first paid coaching experiencing, where a client had scheduled with me a session, and usually payment needs to be made 24 to 48 hours in advance prior to our session. I remember feeling a little anxious as this was my first client. A day before our session I had an inkling to want to email the client once more to re-confirm our session, even though we had already confirmed the day before. I had to catch myself and recognize that my intention in that moment for emailing them was based out of fear. I wanted to email them because I was afraid they were going to cancel and I wasn’t going to have a client. It wasn’t until I recognized what was happening in inside of me that I felt it and accepted it. I had to admit to myself “Hey Stephanie, I’m kinda scared right because I am very excited to have my first client, but I’m afraid they might cancel.”
In that moment as I admitted to myself what was happening inside of me and accepted it, I did not email the client. Instead I surrender to my fear, to the real possibility that, hey, they might cancel. I might not have a client and I have to be okay with that. Once I actually accepted what was and surrendered to it, no lie within an hour later I received an email payment confirmation.
3 Steps to accepting and surrendering
STEP ONE – Admit where you are and what you fear
Admitting is the first step to acceptance because you first need to admit to yourself where you are before you can accept it.
STEP TWO – Accept where you are, and accept the possibility that what you fear may happen.
Acceptance means to be okay with where you are which then allows the energy around you to loosen up and bring about the changes you desire. But often times what people do is admit where they are but then right away they try to change things without accepting it, which creates a sh*t ton of resistances for you.
STEP THREE – Surrender to your fear with the knowingness that what you fear might happen, but still trusting in spite of it.
Surrendering is the ability to go through your fears and trusting that whatever happens, even if it happens to be the thing you fear; that it is for your highest good. It is about taking that thing you’re afraid of, that problem you think you have to solve or that unmet longing in your heart for that thing you want but don’t yet have—and turning it over to your Higher Self and to the Universe by trusting you’ll be okay regardless of the outcome.
(Acceptance + Surrender =Trust)
An Analogy for what surrendering looks like
Let’s say there’s a door in front of you, the door represents both your desire and your fear. As long as you don’t go through your fears, the door that is going to give you an opportunity actually then becomes the wall that prevents you from advancing.
What happens to a lot of us, is that we have a desire but then bam the door (our fear) comes up. And because we are unwilling to look at our fears and even less go through our fears. We end up staying behind the door. Because, in many ways if we don’t go through “the door” we don’t have to experience that what we fear but what we often fail to recognize, is that by preventing or trying to avoid what we fear, we are also keeping ourselves away from what we desire because they both reside in the same door
Now over to you, let’s get into that Self Reflection mode!
- What is something you are struggling with right now, that you cannot change but need to accept?
- What is the fear behind it?
Share it with me below, and if you need help with the process, I’ll guide you through it.