Candid FEELINGS about those I love – Reflections

Journal Entry: July 17, 2011 ( Directly from my Journal pages) 

Hello Inner World,

I’m currently on a plane heading back to Atlanta from Miami. I stayed (10) days in Miami to disconnect, to spend time with my family & throw my brother a baby-shower. I have really enjoyed my time here, this was a much-needed trip. I was able to spend  a lot of time with my mother, which made me realize how much I actually miss not having her close by. I have always been in a rush to grow up & be so independent yet there is something beautiful & amazing about MOTHERS. The pure unconditional love they give.  I am very happy that I was able to spend time with her. I love her so much and the older I get, the more that I go WITHIN, the more beauty I see all around which gives me a greater appreciation for all the things & people in my life.

My mother is truly an amazing life force, her inner strength has always inspired & fueled me. Now I can step back and laugh in gratitude of all my mothers quirks.

Her impatience, her need to have everything in control and perfect at all times, how she repeats her self million times over, how she always goes into panick mode when things aren’t going as planned ( LOL) all these things that I always use to resist with her and couldn’t see past because I was younger & going through my growing pains. Yet now i look at all her quirks in a different light because we all have them in some way. Now I laugh & say to myself how cute is she, when I notice her quirks.  She’s so beautiful, kind , loving & dedicated to her children. I feel so blessed & lucky to have been born to her because she has given me more love that I could have ever asked for. She’s always been at my side good or bad. I’ve seen her go through all sorts of life struggles, more disappointments then happiness. Time after time she has faced & endured terrible hardships yet through it all she’s prevailed . Shes always kept moving forward. Her will to move mountains never allowing fear to get in her way, the inner strength she has demonstrated time after time never cease to amaze me.  I love her more than anything in this world and I am just so overcome with emotions now.

My mom & I

I look forward to the day I fully step into my life mission & to be able to share it with my mother for her to see me step into the full essence of Who I AM, making my mark on this earth plane. For her to experience the light of all the she has given me despite all the trails & tribulations she’s undergone. That she matters & she’s made a difference simply by being who she is & bringing me into this human experience.  I love you mom!

I am excited for my brother Danny who will now be a first time father. To see his smile & laughter at the baby shower was perfect. You could see his genuine happiness & joy with his girlfriend  at his side & the fact that he is going to be a father. I am happy that he has found a person who brings more joy into his life & a person he truly loves. I’m delighted that he is now on to a new chapter of his life & he is going to make a GREAT father . I look forward to meeting my a little nephew & showering him with all my love!

My Mother, Sis in law & brother

During this trip I was also able to spend sometime with my friend Kevin who in the last year has played a major role in all the changes that have taken place in my life within the last six months. Kevin is one of those people you meet who is a perfect mirror reflecting back to you who you truly are & whenever I am around him he lights my inner fire. He reminds me of all that I am & all that I can do. In life there are just those people who bring out the best in you. A bringer of light that is Kevin; I am thankful to have him in my life & to call him my friend. I believe you always need to have people like that in your circle of life.  It feels good to be around people who reflect the best of you. (Every interaction you have is different, depending on where you and/or  that person is at in their life & self-development.)  When we get together our interactions are effortless & what I enjoy the most is that we have simulating conversations about anything, everything & nothing at all. Those are the moments I appreciate & cherish the most. Being able to explore the mind & world with another by simple meaningful interactions. It is through meaningful interactions that one continues to expand. Learning & sharing different perspective with a common goal (growth) to get us closer to our life vision. He is one of those people I believe was brought into my life to serve a very specific purpose. He challenged me in a period of my life when I needed it the most. Whenever I have an opportunity to see him it reminds me ever more how I’ve missed those connections where there is a conscious growth involved. In every interaction and/or relationships we have encountered we are learning & growing yet most of us do it unconsciously. But then you have specific interactions that are based on conscious growth with both parties being aware. An interaction where you are actively learning & teaching one another. It’s an amazing feeling whenever we get together, I come back to Atlanta pumped because we explore many aspects of life, business & growth that its hard not to be inspired.

http://www.kevinjimeno.com/

I also had the opportunity to spend three days with my best friend, my soul sister SUSSE. My Yang good times as always being around her brings out my silly kid side. I have no restrictions around her, I feel completely transparent when we are together. I am grateful for of our bond & 11+ year friendship that we’ve created. We have been able to give to each other an unconditional love filled with no judgement, just pure honest acceptance. Being with Susse is pure FREEDOM, to be myself at all times. She loves & appreciates all of me & actually loves my quirks the most. The fact is that at times when I am in uber-relaxed mode and I am not trying to be “ON”.  I’m just me, I tend to mispronounce things a lot. I say the oddest things that make absolutely no sense what’s so ever yet those are the things she loves about me the most. I love even more when she makes fun of me, I get a kick out of laughing at myself with her! It’s the best feeling in the world. In a sense I guess she is teaching me through our interaction that I should be free at all times & let the inner child surface more. I should be able to be myself with everyone & allow all my quirks to just be. Although I am very open with everyone I encounter, I embrace them with an open mind & heart yet it is ONLY those that are the closest to my heart that truly experience the full essence of all that I AM!